Are You He?
In this space, you are safe. In this place, this page, the answer to that question is waiting to be heard. Ask it internally. Then, answer it aloud and pay attention to where it reverberates.
It may be confusing to you for any number of reasons: you may not be Christian, you may be female, or gay, or imprisoned for violent crime, 'just' a janitor or jewelry maker. The most well-known Christed body, called Jesus by most, is a universal energy that has come many, many times; thousands of times before Jesus died and hundreds of times since. That energy is recognized by those living far outside any particular faith or religion because it is universal. The being most associated with that energy is that for which we have the most images of--be they of his likeness or not. That does not make this way of being connected to the myths associated with him. They are, in fact, myths based upon stories that are not his. Those stories are not the template for who you are or should be. If there is a template for you, it is yours and yours alone. You are not a cookie cut-out. You may be the least Jesus-y person you've heard of. Others may not even call you nice. You may not call yourself nice. That does not change the knowing and the truth behind the answer to the question asked above.
I have had many conversations with people who have said, "I feel like I'm Jesus, too." They are. You may be, too. Only you know that answer. There are others who have said, "People think I am, but I'm not." About half of those have been in denial and the other half know themselves well enough to know they aren't that.
Are you afraid? Good. We have reason to be. However, we are being called forward now. Not 'when God says' (she's been saying), not when the world is ready (when do you suppose that might be? There is no such thing as 'not yet'. You can think you aren't ready all you want. Act as if you are anyway. The time for coded language is long past.
You are enough--as you are, however you appear to others. You are not an avatar, a stand-in for a deity; those that are worshiped never meant themselves to be. Who they are perceived to be now is not who you are. You are not meant to look like them or him, or behave in the manner you think others think you should. The stuff you are made of doesn't fit into any box or readily google-able box. The language you see may not fit because you don't think you fit anywhere, any place. Yet here you are, as you are.
You may think you've been going crazy; you may actually be. In both, you are enough. You have been made purposefully, with great care and consideration for the Gift your presence brings to the world. You are, indeed, a gift, a blessing, and an answered prayer.
You are only as alone in this as you want to be.
I am here. I am here to help make sure you have what you need:
support without judgment,
enough food in your belly and clothes on your back,
to hold your hand and face in mine,
to wrap you in softness and beauty,
and give you ways to find your breath in what seems like madness.
Peace, beloved. Peace is here.