It’s been kindly suggested that I hold back from sharing my struggles with folks who share my social media stream and, potentially, the general public or potential clients, so that others will see me as an ‘expert’ & teacher. While I appreciate the sentiment, the idea that people only need to know me as an ‘expert’ or teacher is a little antithetical to how I move through the world. Despite my appreciation for others’ ideas, I find that I am already restrained at one level and choose not to be restrained in this fashion.
I hold myself back in sharing my deeper knowing for very specific reasons and I hold back on things related to the Mr because he likes his life private. Outside of that I like to let it all hang out. I put all of myself out there for several reasons: It suits me, it’s how I one way in which I create a sense of community & family, it’s cathartic and helps me process stuff, I’m too undisciplined to keep a ‘real’ journal, it keeps me accountable and, for me, is also a reflection of everyman’s journey.
While others’ paths may not unfold quite like mine we share experiences of life we can all learn from. I feel free, furious, excited, scared shitless, sacred, sanctimonious, grace-filled and goofy, anxious, awed, grateful, aggressive, chastised, amazing, brilliant, stupid–sometimes all in one day. Sometimes all at once and I like sharing that to help myself and others (I hope, anyway). I’m not one who can put one face on for some and another for others. I live wide open in every other way and this is just part of that.
I’m not an expert in anything other than myself and even that is occasionally a questionable level of expertise. I hit another shift and think, “Holy shit. Now what that fuck do I do with that bit of me?!” I’m not an expert on energy healing & I don’t think anyone is despite the prettily packaged ‘expertise’ that’s out there. We have ideas and observations but not much more than that. I’m not an expert in spirituality. I’m not spiritual. I don’t divide things in that manner. I don’t have a message to share (I suppose “be nice and breathe” counts, though) or promote any -ologies, -alities or -isms nor am I going to create a new one or more ‘product’.
I do some amazing shit that I call healing because I don’t know another word or string of them that comes close to accurately describing it’s awesomeness. Miracles occur around me all the time and I’m ridiculously human. I like sharing the miracles, the madness and the human-ness that is all my freaky world.
So I appreciate that some would like to view me as an expert and teacher but I’m going to suggest that you consider me neither.