Today, no matter what it takes, we ride home together. ~ Brian Andres
It really does. When we live in a state of poverty, we are imprisoned by the limitations of need. Health, food and shelter provide feelings of safety. Safety allows us to feel vulnerable, creates the capacity to feel hope and share that with others.
I began the day by asking someone to pay me for services rendered and explained the impact of delay which included “a level of stress that shuts me down physically and energetically. It creates an avenue for me to second guess my committment and desire to serve, the model I choose to be in the larger community and makes me…untrusting.”
A good chunk of the work I do is for free. Those who need this most are often in much more dire straits than I. And, frankly, who the fuck would one charge when divine visions send you to specific people who’ve asked the universe for help? Send as invoice to Navajos gods asking for payment when returning a long lost medicine man home?
The above is my own issue, of course, but others share this emotional experience, including the person I was communicating with. For the record, this person is someone I respect and love and will work with again because it’s imperative that she and I do this thisness together. I’ll not ignore psychic or telephonic callings from her or anyone else. But, y’all this shit is hard.
Here’s why: It has little to do with the money. It has everything to do with this shared from this person I adore. She said, “I shouldn’t even have the right to receive your services because I’m not in a position financial to expend in that way… [The] lesson for me is to ask for help when I can afford it…When money comes in, I will reach out for services…It’s a big lesson for me to receive when I’m able (meaning financially).”
No. no. no. no.
“Right to receive”? Waiting to ask for help until you have enough or feel you are ‘enough’? That’s some toxic bullshit that perpetuates the notion that poverty should keep people for having their needs met; that because you or we don’t have expendable wealth, you are somehow less worthy of receiving blessings of the basics. And, y’all, this healing work and the growth into one’s gifted nature IS as basic as oxygen. It’s noxiousness is perpetuated throughout our institutions & politics, the ‘spiritul celebrity’ circuit, and industrialized shamanism.
Yes, money matters. But the lack of it is not a barrier to working with me. I’m not one of those celebrities that charge $300-500 for a half hour of ‘service’. Some people pay more than standard feed so I may help others, some can only give wine & tomatoes, and I may have to have a waiting list sometimes but I will never turn anyone away because they are poor.
So, yes money matters but you–your wellness, your spirit, and your own desire to serve others–matter most.
Please don’t wait until you feel you are worthy or have or are enough to receive this kind of gift.