I received this email last week from a client I worked with a week before.
Hi Ingrid, I appreciate that you took the time to make this list for me. I truly believe you are highly intended and that you have helped many people in very positive and profound ways. I am sorry to report that my experience has not gone well at all. I have suffered much physical illness and many extremely unpleasant disturbances on all levels. During our session a door was opened that must be closed. I have been working with two practitioners who are helping me clear and refortify myself. I need your cooperation and assistance in order to quickly and completely restore peace, health and well-being in myself, my home/sanctuary, my field, my Sacred space. It is critical that all connections made between you and I be thoroughly and immediately severed.I trust, as a healer, you will do what is best for me by honoring my wishes and my boundaries. Thank you for all of the good that you are and all of the good that you do. I wish you well. Respectfully…in Grace and Peace
The work with me is not always a graceful affair. Grace-filled, yes. Grace-ful, no. Sometimes there is a lot of snot involved during a session and after. Not all of the time but sometimes it is just that. The session mentioned above was not one of those snot-filled occasions. There was laughter, great joy, major realizations including, “I have prepared for this my entire life. I was born for this.” And, my response was, “YES”. Before I begin working with a new person I give them the general rundown of what one may experience during sessions and after. Included in this almost-mantra is, “Be aware that you may go into a full-body detox that can appear in any number of fashions. You may experience a range of emotions and mental kerfluffles that I am the support for. You don’t need to be alone in this and you don’t need to be uncomfortable.”
For some people, the initial session sets the foundation for deeper spiritual work, begins a transformation that some call awakening. For others, like this woman, the experience through me is the awakening and described as “pure bliss”. Sometimes, what comes with this experience of instantaneous meeting of all things divine is what Rumi calls the necessary dyings, as one soul gives birth to the next and the ground crumbles so that wildflowers come up.
It is not always like this. There are two responses to the awakenings that happen through me: One is mentioned above. The loss of identity can be frightening. The recognition that all things holy, our own nature, the divine god-stuff within, and the divine god-stuff without isn’t what we thought it should be or look like can be a ball-buster and can blow ones mind. Primarily because, well, one of our stupid human tricks is the idea that we know ahead of time what it (here, things of spirit) should be or look like. People spend decades searching, learning, sitting at the feet of gurus and spiritual ‘masters’ who tell us that this is the way, this is what it looks like, and this is what you should do to see it the way it’s supposed to be. I try to help people move from a boundaried, fear-based experience into one that is limited by nothing, is filled with curiosity and wonder. When that occurs, the second response to the awakening resembles how you feel on a winter day and put on your favorite pair of jeans straight out of the dryer. One big, loud, “Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh….”. So, growth spurts don’t always have to be painful. Generally, how we move through it is of our choosing. We can continue to be afraid and try to shove experiences into the boxes already established in our minds or we can
Once the door to the divine is opened, it is never closed. Once you glimpse what has always seemed hidden from you, you never forget and will never be the same. The integration of one’s consciousness with One’s consciousness brings the knowing that no connection is ever severed. Connection, one-ness, unity consciousness isn’t controlled by a light switch or mental process. It just is. Always. And we are not separated from it or each other.
You and I have spoken all these words, but as for the way we have to go, words are no preparation.
There is no getting ready, other than grace.
My faults have stayed hidden. One might call that a preparation!
I have one drop of knowing in my soul. Let it dissolve in your ocean.
Inside each of us, there is a continual autumn. Our leaves are blown out over the water.
A crow sits in the blackened limbs and talks about what’s gone.
Then, your generosity returns: spring, moisture, intelligence, the scent of hyacinth and rose and cypress.
Joseph is back! And if you don’t feel in yourself the freshness of Joseph, be Jacob!
Weep, then smile.
Don’t pretend to know something you haven’t experienced.
There’s a necessary dying, and then Jesus is breathing again.
Very little grows on jagged rock. Be ground.
Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are.
You’ve been stony for too many years. Try something different.