You guys scare me. And amuse me. And then scare me again.

Because this almost made me snarf!! Pee first, then read.

The Bloggess


I was very sad recently when google stopped tracking search terms like they used to because I always loved seeing the utterly fucked-up things people were searching for that led them to this page.  Then last week I switched my blog over to WordPress and found out that they track and report my search terms.  And there was great joy in the land!  From me.  Because I found the rum Victor hid.  And also because I love looking at search terms.  I only have about 7 days worth of searches, but already it’s already gloriously confusing and I thought I’d share with you.  Because I’m generous.  And because you scare me.

Strangest things people searched for this week that led them to Thebloggess.com:

“missing snake”  (Well, that’s disconcerting on several levels.)

“why is my left buttcheek bigger than than the rights buttcheek?” (Huh.)

“why are people holding twine” (More…

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