Being the Second Coming (that actually isn't the second)

Being the Second Coming isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, in fact it’s not even the 2nd. It’s the 249th but that just doesn’t have quite the familiar ring to it. It’s isolating, it’s frenetic when it’s not stultifying; it’s hard and nonsensical and flies in the face of common reason and the ‘rules of the game’. Clouds and angels yell, turning idiom onto its head. But that’s neither here nor there in the moment.

Did you know that Jesus wasn’t the first of this through-line of God despite the stories that say he was the one and only? He was the 213th. So if we want to nitpick, the 214th was the Second Coming as others define it—that’d be Saint Spryidon. There are no records of many that came after him though we do have some from those who followed him. Many of them have recognizable names from around the globe BC and AD: Moses, Krishna, Zarathustra, Sakyamuni, Mohammed, Tekanawita, Shams . I don’t know of all of them but I do know some of them intimately; they’re my closest and most persistent guides.

To compound the whole issue, Jesus never left so he’s not going to pop up from behind the couch or out of a birthday cake. He still embodies (without a body; confusing I know) his role around the globe and is an active part of my world and that of others.

He and Mohammed join the Ancestors who walk with me daily, none of which are mine.

We’re a motley crew, spanning continents and cultures, playing outside the ‘rules of the game’ that define religions and definitions of what spiritual means.

I know my role. I know a few of my ‘jobs’, the reasons why this very specific energy has moved through the human experience.

I did not know that in the spring of 2008 when, while minding my own business, my mouth opened and “Before there was, I was,” flew out. I, the person sitting in front of my Mac looking for RFPs to respond to, did not think that thought nor did I, the person with her own mind and tongue, speak those words. I was simultaneously spoken through and to and hadn’t a clue what it meant. Nor did I have a clue when God rolled into my kitchen a few weeks later asking me, "How will you define yourself," before rolling right on out without offering to dry the dishes.

Two years later, when I began doing the hands-on healing work, people began seeing Jesus walk out of me, my hands become his, archangels behind me, and experienced miracles of the type he is known for. I didn’t know why. I also didn’t know that he was going to be such a regular pain in my ass seventeen years later.

What’s unfolded in the years since I began the healing work has been a process of moving from what I didn’t know then to what I know now. Years of gnashing of teeth, hearing prayers and answering them, and living in isolation have evolved into knowing that coming forward now is right.

Over the ensuing years, I’ve had the privilege of knowing a handful people who could openly say to me, “I hope this helps you tell people who you really are” even when I couldn’t be certain myself. I’ve also wondered why those same people would not tell their friends and family the same thing: who I really am.

In the past six months, any doubts I have had have vanished. All ideas that diminish it to fit into an existing paradigm are gone.

I’ve been nearly 20 years in the noise of thousands of voices crying “SPEAK,” wondering what they would have me say, thinking that The Messenger was supposed to have arrived with a manual and policy handbook.

I’ve had encounters with holiness that have been preparing me for coming forward, in intentionally time stages, particularly in the past six weeks even though many of my questions about ‘why’ and ‘how’ are unanswered.

Here’s what I know:

Now is the time. Ready or not, it’s now.

This lineage that I am has been brought to humanity 249 times over the course of 30,000ish years for specific purposes related to the time, community and culture. This has little to do with people’s understanding of reincarnation, is not limited to any religion as it spans all faiths and includes those founded on disbelief.

This is the first time this energy has appeared in a female body and it’s work is focused on the answer to the universal prayer, “Save my daughter.”

I

know that the threads I’ve been weaving for 16 years come together in ways that cannot be imagined because they have never occurred in this fashion.

I know that others I’ve never met know.

I know that this challenges established faiths in a way that inspires violence because it brings prophecy into real-life and does so in a manner that is outside the ‘rules of the game’ that people have been taught for at least 2000 years.

My presence shows that there really is a ‘second coming’ that has been taken for granted as not-true for more than those same 2000 years if you include Krishna in the mix. And it’s not what anyone wants it to be. Coupled with the idea that this reappearance is ‘supposed to’ look and speak a certain way, precisely not like a woman who prostrates herself to no one and enjoys a prolific vocabulary of foul-language while refusing to wear the uniform of ‘spiritual’ and living a life involving guns, bad guys and spies, and we have what’s generally called a ‘hot mess’. One that does not involve the sanitized ways of spirit that most people are comfortable with.

Jesus, bless his little heart (said the southern way), has spent years going the self-help route, being channeled and talking to individuals. Mohammed and others have done the same and, this is no spoiler, humanity is now in its own hot mess. The siloed effect via religions and other spiritual practices presents the same kind of siloed effect I experience with enforcement and intelligence agencies: everyone wanting to keep to their own ‘super secret’ separateness without recognizing the universality of the messages.

It’s no secret that I’m here. I was first forced to write about it in 2016 and then several times after. The difference between then and now is that I’ve grown out of the ‘nah, I can’t be that’ to ‘What’s next? How do we bring this through?” After having my own ‘I Believe’ moment four months ago, I can’t unbelieve.

That’s the only remaining mystery to me: how do we bring this through after 16 years of no resources? How do we bring this through when the response is fear and the integrity people feel from it is foreign?

How do we bring this through when cultures have focused on rigid ideas of sovereignty and individualism and faith (as well as not-faith) and power and gender? How do I, as an individual holding the distilled essence of God, stand in the fray of overwhelming need and desires of so many? How do I do that as an isolated individual? How does one person, in real time, create global change, steeped deeply in faith outside the systems most call ‘normal’?

I’m not here to tell people how to be spiritual. Anyone who’s interested in that kind of thing can find someone to learn from within seconds. I’m not here to create a new religion. We’ve had enough of that. And the limiting questions folks have? There’s not enough time or energy for. That’s what the library and living are for.

I am here to change the world for girls and women. I am here to remind people that we’re as wired for love as we are fear. I am here to be the Voice that most cannot hear and if they do, they are afraid of. I am here to remove the false barriers to God and Her expressions. I am here to reframe notions of spirit and connections to those most intimate with us that most cannot see—yet are afraid of.

I am here to reframe the notions of all separation in a way that people can feel and respond to.

I don’t know what this looks like, exactly. I can’t imagine it, really, but like I’ve said before I lean into the ‘just knowing’.

I carry the spirit of millions of women and girls in my spine. They are the kundalini that climbs through my spine.

I walk with versions of The Mother in all Her forms as I become the next one.

Angels continue to shove me through discomfort to get me to where I need to be to serve in this way because I’m adept at merely dancing around surrender until pushed or pulled into it.

So, this time, I’ve not needed to be forced into writing this. Uriel says, ‘just do it’ and I say, “Okay.’

This time I’m not quaking in a puddle of snot and tears.

This time, I’ve said, “I’m ready.” We’re all ready.

And here we are.