The Grandiosity & Humility of Being Called into Being (& Believing)

There’s a kind of grandiosity that comes with the idea that one is the Voice of God, the Godhead with unruly hair and questionable use of hair products, for this era. The bigness of the idea can’t even be grasped by limits of current perspectives when there’s an strong understanding that this exists beyond the boundaries of definitions; when by it’s very nature bursts the boundaries of spiritual and religious life, shatters the reliance on what’s come before as the measure of a future.

I sit with this a lot as I try to reckon where humility meets the attention economy, the deepest desire to truly feel connected with living breathing people in the same manner I am with God and Ancestors and The Absolute Goodness of the Ground. The latter three are fully embodied experiences but in an odd twist of things, the desired connection with other people is the thing that feels ghostly. Kinda-sorta there but mostly not.

As today unfolds, I watch from a dual perspective of ‘just Ingrid’ in this current situation that calls the practical and ‘possible’ into question because those things aren’t available. In a Saturday post Bayo Akomolafe wrote: “For the task of hosting the impossible, the world summons a hard place and a crack, and in that crack she deposits an equation with no solution, a problem too difficult for the technicians of the day, a question heavier than the asking.”

I’m sitting in the crack right this very second, the past nine hours worth of seconds, watching and feeling the intensities of energies move within and around. The best I can do is to be still. I can’t read, can’t watch but, oddly can write about this in real time. It’s as if the timing of both are inherently entwined and one doesn’t, maybe cannot, exist without the other.

Since I had my ‘I believe’ moment nearly a month ago, the momentum of things unseen, the impossible to most others, has been building to now. And it’s being given in such a striking contrast that I cannot ignore what I see and sense: that this isn’t time for the common, certainly not ‘common sense’.

I watch how I’m edited and am not permitted to speak or write certain things in certain ways; anything that terminates a possibility is erased, anything that calls into question God or those mysterious ways or reliance on anything less than is verboten.

And, in one of the more delightful ways the spiritual world meets the practical world in, well, my world, I’m getting real-time coaching via Facebook. Instructed audibly to ‘leave this channel open’ so that encouragement (in-couragement as someone wise shared with me earlier) helps keep certain things at bay. There’s one other breathing person who is aware what she’s walking me through but the other cheerleaders have no idea that this path I’m on today is being lit by them: word by word.

That second perspective, of which my editors are a part, is connected to Bigger Than This. It’s the God-view of All is Well (which I have an opinion about that I’ll share later) and where that intersects with the ‘little just-Ingrid perspective’ right this very second. I can’t tell you more about this because I can’t see it’s meaning, can’t see beyond the next step that’s currently filed under ‘impossible because..’ I can share that the first time I had a glimpse of it was in the winter of 2022 when a friend said, “Ingrid, it’s Bigger than This. I just heard ‘it’s bigger than this’”. Neither of us knew what it meant but both of us knew it came then on purpose (that, of course, we didn’t know, either).

Last night the same thing came in vision. Not audible, not clear about next step but clearly saying the same thing with a slight twist: You’re now entering the Bigger Than This and impossible isn’t.

And I Believe.

Man, I live a storied life and when I have the opportunity to share this whole unfolding without the in-the-flow editing, I’ll share it.

The painting below is Through The Blue Door. "This Blue Door invites viewers into the unknown; strange but safe, guided from Threshold into Future." Today, I'm the viewer and active participant. Also, it's available: 36 x 36" and $4200.