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More on my Own Transformation

Since my own significant personal transition began just about three years ago, I’ve experienced the world in a magnificent manner than most do not have the opportunity to.   It is that of the mystic.  It sometimes feels rarified to me and must seem that way to others, but it is truly connected to all of us.

I’ve documented several of the more fantastical ecstatic experiences I’ve had that have shaped my knowing elsewhere in this blog: Revealing, revolution and becoming everybody, An UnCommon Experience, On Fear and Stepping Up and On Integration and Becoming. There are a few others peppered throughout these posts, some shared in the company of clients, some on my own.  Those that I call ecstatic are of such a striking nature that they inspire a level of awe that is indescribable.

The past few days have not been that at all.  Through a string of not-so-out-of-the-ordinary events (an ‘oops’ in the timing of a beach trip that kept me in the hills combined with a dogsitting gig that I could not reschedule), I ended up in the most serene physical space I’ve been in a loooong.  The kind of space where I can’t help but be expanded.  And, no reason to pull back into the ‘real world’ (with the exception of taking a very ill creature to/from the emergency vet).  In the domain of not having much to do clarity came at me with the subtlety of a hammer upside the crown of the head (very similar to an experience in 2010 when I really was ‘cracked upside the head’—ooooohhhhh…you just laughed, didn’t you?  Twern’t funny.  I got cracked upside the crown of the head while watching TV.  It didn’t actually hurt as there wasn’t a ‘real’ hammer involved but still. I sat up and said, “What the fuck!?  That’s rude!” and went back to watching TV!).

I’ve been trying to create a weeks-long class called Survival Skills for the Extraordinary Empath.  It seemed a logical progression to the experiences I’ve had with SO many people this year–those who are inordinately gifted but can’t manage daily life through the energetic onslaught.  It seemed I was following that so-obvious-you-better-not-ignore-it bouncing ball that’s been my guide these past three years.  AAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHA!! Silly me.  It sure as shit was but not in the way I thought it was.

I’ve been toying around with language of marketing, thinking I was sorta bright and on target, and while working with some other folks who recognized there was a need for such a thing, learned (again) that I just can’t do this ‘marketing stuff’.  While I was getting all angsty and pissy, I came back to a couple of things that I already knew clearly:  1) if I plan something or try to make it happen, it doesn’t happen , 2) if I have to fight with it or figure it out, get angsty and pissy, it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing.  These things I know.  I was doing it any way because I’m stubborn, because I’ve got the goods to deliver expansive (not just ordinary but EXTRAordinary) relief to so many, and, because I was looking for a way to earn money to live comfortably into next year.   Seemed like the right fit.  HA!

Along with that “I shoulda had a V8” self-smack upside the head was this:  the noticing of a string of readings that have appeared in a very specific way over the course of the past few days.  From previous posts, you, my patient readers have probably figured that I like Rumi.  It’s not so much that I like Rumi, it’s that Rumi speaks me.  His voice has been the only one that communicates my knowing in a way that I cannot.  In the midst of all this speerachul shit–he speaks me & to me.

The order in which these were read was the so-obvious-you-better-not-ignore-it bouncing ball speaking to me quietly and reminding me.  Again.  I’m including them here because there importance is SO striking for me and has bearing for many of those I have contact with.

The One Thing You Must Do There is one thing in this world you must never forget to do.  If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothign to worry about but if you remember everything else and forget this, then you will have done nothing in your life. It’s ask if a king has sent you to some country to do a task and you perform a hundred other services, but not the one he sent you to do.  So human beings come to this world to do particular work.  That work is the purpose, and each is specific to the person.  If you don’t do it, it’s as thought a priceless Indian sword were used to slice rotten meat.  It’s a golden bowl being used to cook turnips, when one filing from the bowl could buy a hundred suitable pots.  It’s like a knife of the finest tempering mailed into a wall to hang things on.
You say, “But look, I’m using the dagger. It’s not lying idle.”  Do you hear how ludicrous that sounds? For a penny an iron nail could be bought to serve for that.  You say, “But I spend my energies on lofty enterprises.  I study jurisprudence and philosophy and logic and astronomy and medicine and the rest.”  But consider why you do those things.  They are all branches of yourself. Remember the deep root of your being, the presence of your lord.  Give yourself to the tone who already owns your breath and your moments.  If you don’t, you’ll be like the man who takes a precious dagger and hammers it into his kitchen wall for a peg to hold his dipper.  You’ll be wasting valuable keenness and forgetting your dignity and purpose.

Followed by:

Who is Joseph? Your heart that’s seeking truth, your heart now tied up in prison. They bring you straw off the floor to eat, when you want nothing but a face to face meeting. Some invitations to leave home are dangerous. Joseph left the protection of his father, “It will be exciting ,” said his brothers. Never leave the friend for amusement or money. The treasurer  himself offers to increase your investment a hundred times, but it involves leaving a friend of god. Don’t do it. Once in a famine year, a few companions of Muhammad left his side when they heard a caravan was coming.  They wanted to get provisions before theirs were depleted. Never leave a prophet to buy bread! They were running toward wheat, away from the giver of wheat! Trust the friendship more than the wealth, or any satisfaction. One day a falcon invited a duck to leave the lake and see the high plateau. The wise duck said, “Water is my source and fortress, my peace and joy. Do not tempt me with where you love to be.  You have soaring gifts. I love this low marsh.” The duck stayed in the stronghold where it felt complete. And you, be patient where you sit in the dark. The dawn is coming.

And, lastly:

Inside a lover’s heart there’s another world, and yet another inside the Friend of this community of lovers, an ear that interprets mystery, a vein of silver in the ground,  another sky! Intellect and compassion are ladders we climb and there are other ladders, as we walk in the night, the voice that talks of forgiveness; inside Sham’s universe candlelight itself becomes a moth to die in his candle

I keep denying my self. I known for a long time that it is my time to be the Friend, the Shams of this era.  Despite not wanting this responsibility and arguing with others who have waited for my message,  I am one of the messengers.

Now it’s my time to speak me.

And, yes, that means there will not be the empath class.

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